Chocolate Pairings for Each Executive Order
During this horrifying moment in our nation’s history, it’s important to have the right coping mechanisms readily available. Use this chocolate pairing guide to stay prepared for anything MAGA extremists have in store.
When our new president threatens to ban Tik Tok only to take credit for restoring it, try pairing that with a sea salt caramel. The salty-sweet flavor will complement his blatant hypocrisy. Although his contradicting statements are infuriating, contrasting flavors can be delightful!
When he threatens retribution against all his political enemies, pair that with a tart cherry cordial, since our leaders will no longer even pretend to be cordial to one another. At least your chocolate can still be friendly.
When he ends DEI programs, you can pair that with a crunchy hazelnut praline to remind yourself that a diversity of flavors isn't welcome in our country, and also that this administration is nuts.
When he declares that the US upholds a strict binary between male and female, eat a swirl of dark and milk chocolate. Your palate can handle complexity even if our leaders can’t.
When he imposes tariffs, eat a mint patty to remind yourself of the US Mint and the negative impacts to the US economy. The dollar may not do well, but your chocolate will still taste fresh!
When he ends birthright citizenship, eat a pure white chocolate to remind yourself of how we’re upholding white supremacy.
When he restores the death penalty, eat a bitter dark chocolate to represent this dark time in our nation’s history.
When he pardons the people prosecuted for Jan 6, try gulping down a chocolate White Russian, since we’re headed toward fascism anyway.
When it occurs to you that our nation elected our first convicted felon president before our first woman president, try dunking your head in a vat of chocolate fondue.
And when all that fails, hold your loved ones close, use your privilege to keep fighting for those who can’t, organize locally, and vote in the midterms. But in the meantime, fuel up with chocolate. Nothing goes better with the end of democracy than a nice chocolate ganache.
These chocolates are more diverse than our administration.